What is the Difference Between “Who” and “Whom”? The Complete Guide

Understanding the proper usage of “who” versus “whom” is an essential element of communicating clearly and professionally in English. However, even native English speakers often find these tricky pronouns confusing.

When should you use “who” in a sentence? And when is it appropriate to use “whom” instead?

This comprehensive guide will demystify the difference between these two commonly mixed-up words. Read on to master when to use "who" and when to use "whom" across all contexts, from informal conversation to academic writing.

What is the Difference Between “Who” and “Whom”? The Complete Guide
What is the Difference Between “Who” and “Whom”? The Complete Guide

Why Getting "Who" vs. "Whom" Right Matters

Distinguishing between "who" and "whom" may seem trivial or pedantic. But using these pronouns correctly can greatly enhance the formality and precision of your communication.

Consider the following sentences:

"Who did you recommend for the job?"

"Whom did you recommend for the job?"

The second sentence is more grammatically correct. Getting the "who" vs. "whom" distinction right shows attention to detail and strong command of English. This is especially important in professional, academic, or formal settings.

Beyond formal writing, knowing when to use "who" or "whom" also improves clarity during everyday communication. Using the wrong pronoun can confuse the meaning of a sentence.

For example:

"Who did you see at the party last night?" This asks who attended the party.

"Whom did you see at the party last night?" This asks who you interacted with at the party.

Subtle differences, but the improper pronoun leads to muddled meaning.

In summary, here are two key reasons mastering "who" vs. "whom" matters:

  • Enhances professionalism: Correct use, especially in formal writing, demonstrates strong writing skills.

  • Improves clarity: Using the right pronoun prevents confusion and miscommunication.

With this in mind, let's break down the fundamental difference between "who" and "whom" in English grammar.

The Core Grammatical Distinction

The difference between "who" and "whom" boils down to a single grammatical rule:

  • Use "who" when referring to the subject of a sentence or clause.

  • Use "whom" when referring to the object of a sentence or clause.

Put simply:

  • "Who" acts.

  • "Whom" is acted upon.

"Who" as a Subject Pronoun

"Who" is a subject pronoun, similar to "he," "she," "we," and "they." We use "who" when referring to the person performing an action.

For example:

  • "Who wrote this article?"

  • "Who is responsible for this data breach?"

  • "Sue is one of the candidates who has applied for the promotion."

In all these sentences, "who" refers to the person doing something. "Who" functions as the subject.

"Whom" as an Object Pronoun

"Whom" is an object pronoun, like "him," "her," "us," and "them." We use "whom" when referring to the person receiving an action.

"Whom" can act as the direct object or the object of a preposition.

For instance:

  • "Whom should we hire for the position?"

  • "With whom are you going to the dance?"

  • "For whom does the bell toll?"

In these examples, something is being done to or for "whom." "Whom" serves as the object.

To summarize:

  • "Who" acts as a subject. Use it when referring to the doer of an action.

  • "Whom" acts as an object. Use it when referring to the receiver of an action.

This foundational grammatical distinction underlies every case where "who" and "whom" are used differently. Keeping their roles as subject and object straight is key to mastering proper usage.

The Core Grammatical Distinction
The Core Grammatical Distinction

Common Usage Challenges and Practical Tips

Understanding the core grammatical difference is essential. However, questions of "who" vs. "whom" most often arise in specific situations.

Here are three of the most common contexts where choosing "who" or "whom" can prove tricky, along with practical tips for getting it right.

Using "Whom" in Questions

Questions involving "who" and "whom" throw many English speakers for a loop. Should you ask:

  • "Who made this dish?" or,

  • "Whom made this dish?"

The first sentence is correct. Why? Because "who" acts as the subject in the question. Let's break it down:

  • "Who made this dish?" = "[He/she] made this dish."

Since we would say "He made this dish" if answering the question, "who" is the right choice as the subject.

"Whom," on the other hand, would be the object:

  • "Whom did you ask to make this dish?" = "You asked [him/her] to make this dish."

The key is determining whether "who/whom" refers to the subject or object in the implied answer to the question.

Here is a simple tip for getting questions with "who" and "whom" right:

  • Rearrange the sentence so "who/whom" comes after the verb.

For example:

  • "Who made this dish?" → "This dish was made by who?"

Since "by him" sounds right, "who" is correct as the subject.

  • "Whom should we hire?" → "We should hire whom?"

Since "We should hire her" sounds right, "whom" is correct as the object.

By rearranging the question, you can more easily test whether "who" or "whom" is the subject or object.

Using "Whom" in Relative Clauses

Another common confusion arises in relative clauses starting with "who" or "whom." For example:

  • "John is the candidate who/whom we believe can excel in this role."

Which pronoun is correct here? Apply the rearrangement test:

  • "John is the candidate [whom] we believe..."

  • "We believe [him]."

Since "him" is correct, "whom" is the proper pronoun as the object. "Who" would be wrong in this relative clause construction.

Let's try another example:

  • "Mary is the architect who/whom designed the building."

Rearranged:

  • "Mary is the architect [who] designed the building."

  • "[She] designed the building."

"She" is right, so "who" is the correct pronoun as the subject.

By using the rearrangement trick, you can easily determine whether "who" or "whom" fits for any relative clause situation.

Using "Whom" After Prepositions

One case where "whom" is always correct in formal English is after a preposition:

  • "With whom are you going?"

  • "To whom it may concern..."

  • "Per whom?"

In these constructions, "whom" always acts as the object of the preposition. "To him," "with her," etc. would be the implied answers.

So after a preposition, "whom" is always the safer formal choice:

  • In formal writing, always use "whom" after a preposition.

In informal speech, "who" after a preposition has become more common ("Who are you here with?"). But in professional or academic contexts, "whom" remains the standard.

By remembering this rule, you'll avoid mistakes like "Who did you give it to?" in formal writing. Reserve "who" after prepositions for casual contexts only.

Common Usage Challenges and Practical Tips
Common Usage Challenges and Practical Tips

We've covered the traditional rules dictating proper usage of "who" versus "whom." However, language continually evolves. What does the future hold for these pronouns?

Prescriptive grammar guides currently favor maintaining the "who"/"whom" distinction. But some linguists say "whom" could become obsolete within a couple generations.

Is "whom" on its way out completely? Here are some key points in that debate:

  • Informally: "who" is frequently used in place of "whom" in casual conversation. Many speakers default to "who" in nearly all cases.

  • Formally: "whom" remains essential in formal writing and professional communication.

  • "Whom" persists most in fixed constructions: Certain phrases like "to whom it may concern" are deeply entrenched in formal English.

Based on current research, "whom" will likely persist for decades in academic, business, legal, and other formal contexts. But informally, "who" may eventually subsume "whom" completely.

Proper usage also depends on your audience:

  • Use "whom" freely with grammatically conservative readers.

  • With mixed audiences, restrict "whom" to constructions like after prepositions where it's universally preferred.

The key is being adaptable. As professionals, we must choose pronouns suited to our audience and context.

Mastering the traditional rules empowers you to make this choice strategically. Know the guidelines, then flex to your audience.

Conclusion: Who Has the Answer Now?

We've covered a lot of ground on the complex "who" vs. "whom" dilemma. Here are the key takeaways:

  • Use "who" when referring to the subject of a sentence or clause.

  • Use "whom" when referring to the object of a sentence or clause.

  • In questions and relative clauses, rearrange the sentence to test "he/she" vs. "him/her."

  • After a preposition, "whom" is always correct in formal writing.

  • Informally, "who" is gaining ground across all contexts.

The next time you're faced with a "who" vs. "whom" choice, apply these tips to get it right.

Mastering this tricky distinction will elevate your English skills and allow you to adapt fluidly across contexts. So ask yourself: Who can put these strategies into practice immediately? You!

FAQ

Q: Can I use "whom" in casual conversation, or is it too formal?

A: While “whom” often sounds overly formal in everyday speech, it’s not strictly incorrect to use it conversationally. However, “who” is generally the safer choice in informal contexts. Save “whom” for cases where you’re confident it’s the right grammatical choice, especially after prepositions.

Q: Is it always wrong to use "who" when "whom" is technically correct?

A: In formal academic or professional writing, using "who" when "whom" is grammatically correct is an error to avoid. However, in casual speech "who" in place of "whom" is common and generally accepted. Avoid being overly prescriptive with "whom" in conversational English.

Q: When will we know if "whom" is obsolete?

A: Linguists posit that “whom” could fall out of use in the next 50-100 years based on current trends favoring “who” in all contexts. However, “whom” will likely persist in formal writing longer than casual speech. Track its usage in published media and keep abreast of evolving grammar guides to know if “whom” has been ruled obsolete.

Q: Is there an easy trick for deciding when to use "who" vs. "whom"?

A: The simplest trick is to mentally substitute “he/she” for “who” and “him/her” for “whom.” If “he/she” fits in the sentence, use “who.” If “him/her” fits better, use “whom.” This helps identify if the pronoun acts as the subject or object.

Q: Do any other languages have a "who" vs. "whom" distinction?

A: Many other languages do not make the same distinction between subject and object pronouns that English does. However, some foreign languages with cases like German do differentiate pronoun forms based on grammatical function. Overall the “who” vs. “whom” dilemma is unique but not exclusive to English.

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